It's So Hard...To Say Goodbye...

You guys.  I'm a total mess this morning.  I laugh/cried myself to sleep last night.  I had to say goodbye to The Office.  Yes, I know the last couple of years have been terrible, but the last season felt like old times and last night's finale was perfect.  I can't think of one thing that I wanted to change.  Except for the fact that it was the last episode...ever.

I really should get a life.  But the truth is, I've always been obsessed with TV and movies.  I become so invested in them it's ridiculous.  Don't judge me.  The heart wants what the heart wants.  I was a  LOST addict and seriously wept uncontrollably the entire week after Charlie died.  I can't bare to watch it again just because I know he'll die.  How sad is that?  (Answer: It isn't.)

And don't get me started on Friends.  I for real watch reruns of that and all I can think is they had a year knowing it was the finale and you put Ross and Rachel together in the last few minutes?!  That was the worst finale in TV history.  Seriously...the worst.  They owe us a reunion show based around Ross and Rachel's wedding.  I effing deserve that!

But back to last night.  I spent the entire night wrapped up in my blanket with a bottle of wine and tissues and the second that retrospective came on I began sobbing.  Squish just stared at me.  I really don't understand his problem.  I loved these people.  We've been together for nine years and now I'll never see them again.

So in the immortal words of Boyz II Men...

How do I...say goodbye...to what we had...

Hope you get that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day.  That's what you get for laughing at me!

The Rhythm is Gonna Get You

Yesterday I did something that 16 year old Kari never thought she would do.

No, it wasn't keep the hula hoop up for five minutes (although I totally did).  I registered for a dance class.  Ok, really, I registered Eva for a dance class but it's a mommy and me class.  She's been really interested in it lately and a few people told me they started their kids around Eva's age, so I took a leap.

And now, dear God, I'm nervous.  I'll have to meet new people and dance.  I'm white and Church of Christ.  I have no rhythm.  I'm praying to God she gets her moves from her dad otherwise people are going to think she's having a seizure.  I spoke to the director and she reassured me that it's a fun, laid back class.  It's 45 minutes once a week so at least it's not a huge commitment.

O, but on the bright side I get to go buy her a little dance outfit.  I think she'll probably die.

  
I grew up in a family of all boys, so for me it was softball and basketball and later in life I was a football manager.  I really have no idea what to expect with dance.

And to make matters worse I stumbled across the reunion episode of Dance Moms last night while waiting for Squish to get home so I could watch New Girl.  I'm pretty traumatized right now.  Those women are crazy and they put their little girls in skimpy clothes and lots of makeup...

S.h.i.t.  What did I get myself into?

Summer is Upon Us

We've finally made it to summer, glory, glory!  Squish and I bought our house last July.  We have the most amazing back patio and we spent a good part of fall out there watching the Rangers and Sooners.

Then it got cold and we've been stuck inside ever since.  I'd like to say Evie and I were getting sick of each other and finger painting but for the past three hours all I've heard is "Momma, momma, momma."  I keep telling myself, "I love my daughter, I love my daughter, I love my daughter."

Ever have one of those days?

Anyway, I washed all Evie's outside toys this weekend, bought her a bat and ball and a hula hoop.  I may have bought me one, too.  I forgot how hard it was.  I'm proud to say after a few hours I finally kept it up for more than three rounds.

I need to talk to Squish about getting one of those 8 foot tall privacy fences now because I'm 87% sure my neighbors were laughing at me.

Jerks.

Color Me Rad OKC 2013

 

Well, if you made it through the 600 photos, then I guess I should write something.  I did the Color Me Rad this weekend.  About 12 hours before the race began, I found out Squish had to work so Eva would be coming with me.  I made the best of the situation.  I won't bore you with details of the meltdown that occurred before and through the first half of the 5k.

But I will tell you, Color Me Rad is not as exciting as the pictures lead you to believe.  Yeah, you get hit with color bombs at each 1k, but, um, all I can say is it was a little anticlimactic.  Don't get me wrong, I'll definitely do it again next year, but I'll lower my expectations.

But I did finish it and had to walk through parts of it but only because I was pushing a stroller and it wasn't paved.  I really wanted to quit about half way though but thought "well, that's a crappy example to set for your kid," so I pushed on.  We finished and the end was fun.  About every 20 minutes big crowds gather and they throw a ton of color bombs.  That was the best part.  In fact, if you didn't want to run you could just throw on some old clothes and go stand around the finish line.  That'd be a free and excellent Saturday.

Or it might make for a fun three year old's birthday party...somethin to think about.

Next month is the Mud Factor.  I have got to start lifting weights for that.  Seriously guys, you would think carrying around a 32 pound kid would make me buff but I have zero upper body strength.

Dear Momma,

I’m sure this is long overdue, but better late than never, right? Thank you, I’m sorry and I love you.

Thank you for being my mommy. I know I probably wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you decided to have me, but thank you for taking a gamble. Thank you for taking naps with me on the couch.

Thank you for making sure I had the most perfect mall bangs, wings and perm. I can never unlive 2nd grade picture day.Thank you for dropping everything you were doing every time I got sick. No matter how old I get, the only person I want taking care of me when I’m sick is my mommy. Thank you for knowing exactly what scripture to quote me when I’m having a bad day. And thank you for knowing what book to read when I need guidance on certain issues. Thank you for knowing just how to fix every problem in my life. O, and thank you for always taking me and my friends teepeeing.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pretty much everything I did between the ages of 14 and 24. I’m sorry for not coming home on time and making you wait up for hours to make sure I was safe. I’m sorry for not calling when I knew I was going to be late. I’m sorry I dyed my hair hot pink. I’m sorry I parked in a no parking zone and we had to go to the police department at 2:00 in the morning. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I’m sorry for making you cry.I’m really sorry for all the times I made you angry. But you are still my momma and…

I love you. I love that despite everything you and dad stayed together. I loved during the summer you and Nel would clean each other’s houses and I’d get to spend more time playing with my cousins. I love your grilled cheese sandwiches. I love Margarita night with you, dancing on the back patio. I love swimming with you and splashing you to make sure your hair is wet. I love that you always have SPF 60 and I love that you always make me wear it. I love that you’re the easiest person to buy for during Christmas and your birthday. I love spending all day Saturday with you shopping or getting pedicures. I love that you stood outside the door when I was delivering Eva. I love when you rock my daughter to sleep during church.

Momma, you’ve given me the best life a girl could ever dream of having. I know how lucky I am and I promise that I cherish every second that I’m with you. You are the reason I am who I am and I hope that someday, because of you, Eva will tell me the same thing.

Originally posted on May 4, 2011.  It's always hard for me to find the words that describe my mom.  With the exception of Eva and Squish she is everything to me.

An Open Letter to My Aunt Nel

You see that lady up there.  That's my Aunt Nel.  I want to dedicate a special post to her because I don't think I've ever told her what she means to me and since Mother's Day is coming up, I thought now would be an appropriate time.

Dear Nel Nel,

I love you.  I think you know that, right?  I always felt like I was super lucky to grow up with two moms.  I like to think the reason that you and mom are twins is so that I would be your niece.  Am I right?

We've been through so much together.  You were there during the Dark Ages and even willing to bail me out of jail when you thought I did something horribly stupid*.  That's when I knew just how much you loved me.  You showed me that I could be strong when my life fell apart.  You showed me that I can put myself back together and that I can be better than I ever was before.

You were the one I could always talk to when I didn't think I could talk to my mom.  You always love me and encourage me.  You play a huge part in the way I am today.  You're the aunt I want to be to my own nieces.  

You have a heart full of pure gold.  I've seen you give and give and when I didn't think you had anything left to give, you dug down deep and gave some more.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and how much I love you.  

You mean the world to me Nel and I just feel like the luckiest girl in the world because you're my aunt.

I love you. 

Just for the record, I did not need to be bailed out of jail.

Some days a girl just wants to write

This weekend is a going to be packed full.  For starters, I get to see Ma Jaws...finally.  She's on another cruise in the Bermuda Triangle.  It's Wednesday and I'm missing her so...freakin...much right now.  She comes home Saturday.

I'm such a momma's girl.

Anyway, Saturday is the big Color Me Rad race.  I'm super excited.  You forgot to ask me how the running is going.  I'll answer you anyways.

It isn't.

I haven't ran in a month and I don't plan to either.  How's that for being lazy?  I know I should but I just don't wanna.  It'll be fine though.  We're getting pelted with color bombs, how can I not have fun?  I also dug out my old Canon pns.  Did I ever tell you how that thing came about?  No, well, we're not doing anything right now, so here goes.

Squish bought me my first digital point and shoot in December 2006.  It was love at first sight.  I carried that thing with me everywhere.  In February 2007 he begged me to be his wife and in July 2007 we got hitched in Vegas.

So, we land in Vegas, check in at the hotel and head down to Margaritaville for dinner.  It was Sunday September 9th, and we were getting married the next afternoon.  Right, so I gently put my camera on the table in front of me...next to my margarita.  I guess I was excited and nervous because when I sat down I bumped the table and my margarita along with three others spilled right on top of my camera.

I cried.

Lucky for us, though, Squish's uncle had driven to Vegas so we hopped in his truck the next morning, found a Target and bought a new camera.

Good story, huh?  I'm full of them today.  Anyway, that's just a long way of saying, I've since upgraded and learned how to shoot in manual and haven't seen that old pns in about three years.  I decided it needed on last hurrah.

I'm totally takin that mutha to the race this weekend.  I wanna take my own pictures.  I'm snobby like that.

I also get to host Mother's Day at my house this year.  It's becoming increasingly difficult to split holidays between Squish's side and mine so I called Mother's Day and Father's Day around Easter time.

I still haven't done anything for that.  I'm a terrible party planner.  I generally like to do everything the day before instead of gather stuff over a short period of time, you know, like a smart girl.

Well, that's it for the rambling this afternoon.  Aren't you glad you stopped by?