Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Yelling at Eva or How I Became the World's Greatest Mom

My biggest fear when I got pregnant with Oscar was losing my relationship with Eva.  I would be lying if I said that didn't happen.

I did the best I could to prepare Eva for a new baby.  But there's talk and then there is reality.

Two days after we brought Oscar home, Eva was acting wild.  While Squish and I lay on the floor staring at our little bundle of joy Eva decides to jump over his head.  I lost my mind.  Girl, you canNOT jump over a newborn's head.  I snapped.  I screamed at her.  I'm not even sure what I screamed.  I do know she's treated him like a king ever since.

For the next two months our relationship was strained.  We were constantly battling.  I could see myself losing her.  I could see myself losing Squish.  I felt like my whole world was crumbling.  Just when things had gotten their worst Squish said something I'll never forget.  He asked me, "why do we yell?  We yell so we can intimidate the person we're yelling at."  I felt like I was punched in the gut.

I don't want to intimidate my four year old.  I want to love her and help her blossom.  What I was doing was crushing her spirit.  It was crushing our relationship.

One night while Squish was at school I had reached the end of my patience.  I yelled at Eva.  As we were getting ready for bed I held her and Oscar in my arms.  I apologized for yelling at her.  I told her I was stressed out and I took it out on her and I shouldn't have.  I cried as I told her I was sorry.  She put her little hand on my face and said, "It's OK momma.  We'll still keep you."

That's when I knew something had to change.  I'm the adult in our relationship.  I can't act like a child anymore just because my feelings got hurt.  A few days later Squish sent me this article, The Important Thing About Yelling and it changed my life.

I can honestly say things have been better between Eva and me.  Now when she acts all sassy and starts throwing a temper tantrum I tell her how adorable she is.  She laughs and things get better.  That's the magical thing about my daughter.  Her laugh makes life better.  It's the complete opposite of what my yelling was doing.

Are things perfect now?  No, I've still lost my patience.  But I've only yelled one time in the past month (I was yelling at least once a day).  Things are getting better.  I realize it's a lifestyle change and not a one time fix.  I am happy to say that for now our relationship is where I want it to be.  She loves me and more importantly she knows that I love her.  I feel ashamed to admit that I'm not so sure she knew that before.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Oscar at Three Months or What is the Point of Toys?

I must say, the more pics I take the closer I am to getting the color of his wall right.  So far, month #3 is the closest to the IRL color.

Anyway, Ozzy Bear turned three whole months last week.  It feels like we have had him forever.  Most of his milestones he hit at two months but I'm just now getting around to writing about them.  He smiles and laughs.  He rolls from belly to back.  Over the last week he has started reaching and grabbing toys.

Which brings me to toys...I feel kinda bad because the little bear doesn't have very many.  But he still doesn't have control of his hands so how is he supposed to play with things?  I don't remember all this stuff with Eva!!  Toys just magically appeared to her when she got to the appropriate age.

We did buy him this amazing thing called a sit and play.  It's like an exersaucer but the baby sits in it instead of stands.  I saw it on a friend's instagram and immediately went and bought one.  I think he's big enough for the doorway swing and the big exersaucer so we'll be hauling those out of the attic this weekend along with Eva's old high chair.

Judging by my past blog entries we started feeding Eva with a spoon at the end of October.  I guess I could introduce Oscar to a spoon and see how well that works.  I forgot how much I hate the bottle.  I realize it goes by fast and blablabla but I'm really ready to be over the whole bottle phase.

So that's where we are now.  It feels like we've always been in this place.  It's hard to remember the days before Oscar and even harder to remember the days before Eva.  To me they're old souls who have always been part of our family since Squish and I first met.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Eva Started PreK and Ripped My Heart Out.

That daughter of mine had the nerve to grow up and start PreK while I was off on maternity leave.

Seriously, can you believe this?!  I was just getting used to my mornings on the back porch, feeding Oscar Bear, drinking coffee, listening to Old Crow Medicine Show while Eva ate cereal and played.  Then all of a sudden she grows up and starts school.

Not cool, kid.  Not.Cool.

I had the worst time adjusting to her being at school.  I cried every day for a week straight.  I'd drag my mom and Oscar to Target every morning because I didn't want to go home.  I was so worried she wouldn't make friends.  I mean, she's the shiest kid I know.

When I picked her up on the first day I asked how everything was.  She was really quiet and didn't say much.  I asked how her lunch was and she said, "I couldn't eat my cheese stick because no one would open it for me."

So I cried myself to sleep that night.

She told me she was too shy to ask the teacher for help.  I told Squish I will never put another cheese stick in her lunch again.  He all rationally tells me that I should because she needs to learn how to get the teacher's attention in case she has a major emergency.

I hate when Squish is right.

The next day she comes home from school and I ask her all about her day.  She's still quiet but a little better.  I unpack her lunch and Glory Glory Hallelujah there is an opened cheese stick in there.

Hello, don't her teachers know that she's my special little snowflake and they should take her under their wing and protect her and be there for her every little need?  Why should she have to open her own cheese stick?!?!?

Anyway, I've been better at anticipating little things like that for her now.  I've really been trying to teach her how to do things on her own and being very loud when she needs help.

Last weekend she went to her BFF's birthday party (OMG, my little lady has a BFF).  Needless to say, I have worried myself into a tizzy over nothing.  There were about 8 little kids from her class and they love them some Eva Carlene.  Every bouncy thing she went on 2-3 little kids would follow her.

 Clearly my child has been faking her shyness when I'm around.

One more story and I'll wrap this up.

A couple of weeks ago Eva came home from school and said, "Momma, I was on red today.  I wouldn't listen to my teacher and I wouldn't go potty."  Now, I trust her teachers so if she's on red, then they did it for a reason.  However, I was having a hard time believing she would be on red for not going potty.  I questioned Eva about this but she insisted, "nope, momma, I wouldn't go potty.  But it's OK, I was on green by the end of the day."

So the next day I asked her teacher.  She looked at me, rolled her eyes and goes, "Eva wasn't on red.  Eva will never be on red."

My little drama queen wants to be a rebel.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

A Funny Thing Happened...

Someone went and had herself a baby.

Short story.  I went in for my last checkup on July 15th.  During my checkup my water broke.  My fabulous doctor sent me to the hospital and like 10 hours later I had myself a new baby boy.

How's that for a birth story?

That'd be Oscar Ray
Pardon the hair, but you see, I just pushed out a 10 pound 2 ounce, 21 anna half inch long boy.  The kid had two teeth when he was born.  I mean, I kinda felt like a rock star for the next few days.  If we're being honest, when I think about it, I still do.

Eva is doing ah-mazingly well.  She might quite possibly, literally love that little boy to death.  She thinks he belongs to her and I think he's just perfectly fine with that.  He looks for her voice whenever she talks and over the last month he smiles when he sees her.

They're always going to love each other like this, right?

Anyway, here they are enduring mommy's first photoshoot.

I make really cute kids.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Her Pretend Birthday

When I found out my due date was July 19th I panicked.  I wanted Eva to have all these special days.  So we planned a trip to Branson and I've really tried to say "yes" to as many things as she's asked for.

But the most special day I wanted her to have all to herself...her birsday (which is how she pronounces birthday, which is adorable).  So I planned it for a couple of weeks before her actual birthday...which was this weekend.

Kittens, I'm exhausted.  I thought it would be better having her birthday before the baby gets here so she can have a day that is All About Eva.  And she did, but I'm paying for it.

She told me she wanted a Hello Kitty birthday so we went to Target and she picked out the invitations.  Then we went to Sams and she picked out the cake.  Then Saturday morning rolls around and she tells me "Um, that's not what I want.  I want a girl superhero birsday."

I then strangled her.

My mom came over and helped* me clean Saturday morning and then my MIL and BFF came and helped* me hang streamers and blow up balloons.  I did a really good job resting (for the most part).  It's just really hard for me to relinquish control and delegate tasks.  Unless you're Squish.  I'm really good and giving him little tasks to do all.the.time.  Sorry love.

In the end she had tons of cake and ice cream and got a lot of good presents.  Her favorites were a karaoke machine, a tent for her bed and some mini LaLaLoopsy dolls.

We still plan on having a small cake and ice cream get together on her actual birthday.  Squish and I have a few more presents for her and so does her little baby brother.

*read: did it all.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Happy Birthday 'Merica (Because You Can't Say 'Merica Enough Times)

We seriously tried to pack in as much fun this weekend as humanly possible.  D-day is now nine days away and it’s starting to hit me. 

Thursday night we went to Blanchard’s ‘Merica Festival where Eva rode Lil Sebastian (Ian did not), ran through an obstacle course and gave her father a beat down during a jousting match.  We stayed for the fireworks show but it was pretty boring so we headed home. 

The next morning Squish dropped me, Eve and The Koolaid Man off at Ma and Pa Jaws to swim before the rest of the family showed up.  She and I stayed in the pool for about three hours…three glorious, stress free, restful hours.  Then we ate our weight in watermelon and headed off to Squish’s uncle’s house.

Squish’s uncle lives pretty close to a Tiger Safari.  So close that you can walk up to the back of the cages.  So close that when we started setting off fireworks (outside city limits…score!) you can hear the lions roar.  It was awesome.  Squish dropped a ridiculous, yet well worth it, amount of money on fireworks and I got to watch him act like a little kid.  There were roman candle fights and smoke bombs and tanks and sparklers and snakes*.  Also, no one got hurt even though one dumb uncle set off a mortar on the ground 15 feet away from us.  I found out later that none of Squish’s family did fireworks growing up and this was a first for them. 

Later that night Squish cut some limbs off a tree and we roasted marshmallows and made s’mores.  It was honestly one of the best 4th of Julys I've had in forever.  We missed all the big displays but we were so far out in the country that everywhere you turned fireworks were going off. 

Saturday after breakfast we headed to the fireworks stand to buy whatever was left.  We made plans with Amy and Cory to swim and cookout and blow up more stuff because ‘Merica.  Amy and I made jalapeno poppers and I ate as many as I could just trying to get this kid out of me! but it didn't work and alas, I am still pregnant.

*name that movie.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Her First Concert

Photobombed by the great Hank Williams, Jr.

My daughter loves music.  She gets this from her father who was that guy before hipsters discovered iTunes.  He's made her several playlists including country, punk and my favorite, oldies. Well, Miss Eva fell in love with Let's Have a Party by Wanda Jackson.  Who just happens to be born, raised and still lives in Oklahoma*.  My cousin texted Squish one night, “thinking about going to see Wanda Jackson.  She’s giving a free concert downtown.”

And that’s how Eva got to see her first concert.  We parked not to far from where she was playing and took a pedicab to the Great Lawn because swollen feet.  Squish set me up a chair and Eva danced her little heart out.   Watching my daughter get excited about live music is absolutely one of the highlights of my life.  I’m not a very musical person at all.  I listen to NPR and podcasts 99% of the time.  I never thought I would have a daughter who was so in love with music.  Her passion for music has definitely made me appreciate it a lot more.

*I knew nothing about Ms. Wanda Jackson two weeks ago and now I love her.  Also, she’s friends with Jack White.