Friday, May 23, 2014

A Bittersweet Feeling; Like Eating Day Old Donuts

Squish and I went for my hopefully last MFM appointment on Tuesday.  We got to see our little boy again.  Which, when other people show me their ultrasound pics I'm all "ah, that's so sweet" but when it's my kid I'm all "OMGTHATISTHECUTESTFETUSINALLTHEWORLD"

Anyway, Captain Awesomepants' heart is all clear.  However the doctor is now concerned with how large he is.  Apparently I'm going to give birth to The Hulk.  I'm beginning to think that I'm not going to make it to my July 19th due date and that makes me really, really nervous.  Because, you know, omg there is still a shelf to hang and bottles to buy and I need to finish sanding and leveling that tree trunk and hang that picture and plant some flowers and paint Eva's room...You know, really important stuff that a newborn will sincerely care about when he gets here.

I'm starting to get really, super stoked about meeting my little karate champ.  I already know he enjoys rearranging my innards and giving me heartburn in my ears.  But I really want to hear that new baby cry and hold him in my arms.  I want to pinch his little toes and watch his little itty bitty fist close around my finger.  I wanna see that newborn yawn!

Of course, all this means that my alone time with Eva is coming to a close.  I've never felt so sad and happy at the same time.  My biggest fear is for Eva to think that I don't have time for her anymore or that I am replacing her.  If it wasn't for her and the confidence she gave me, then I wouldn't be doing this again.

So there ya go.  That's my update for the week.  I'd like to imagine I'll be doing lots of fun things this weekend like going to the lake or drinking a limearita on the back porch while watching The Thunder kick ass but it's supposed to rain and I'm knocked up so it'll probably be a whole lot of movie watching and ice cream this Memorial Day Weekend.  You know, do it right.

4 comments:

  1. Don't worry about Eva...she'll adjust just fine. I made sure to still take Quinn to do things alone. And I still try to "date" my kids one on one to give them that special time.

    I'm excited for you and can't wait to meet the little guy!

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    1. I really hope she does. I've prepared her the best I know how. She talks to him all the time and thinks that we're having this baby for her (which, we probably wouldn't be having another kid had she not asked us about having one). I guess there is nothing left for me to do but have the baby and hope for the best!

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  2. It's harder than I thought and I have mom guilt for not being able to play with Roman like I used to

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    1. I usually crumble under regular guilt anyway. I have no idea how I'm going to handle mom guilt! Eva has already started acting out in little ways. I can't imagine what she's going through right now and my heart breaks for her.

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